Hooded!

Hey, I graduated today! I walked in the U's commencement ceremony, complete with gown and cap and hood (blue for PhD). I still need to finish the diss and defend, but I've been in an excellent mood all day. I sang a silly little song to myself while I biked around: "I gradu-ated from coll-ege!" I walked and sat with friends from my diss support group, both of whom have been working for so long and I'm so proud that they're finished. My friends in the audience shouted 'quackery' and clapped and hooted for me, and my advisor said "we'll get this done." I had ice cream with my friends and biked home and ate a mango and listened to Happy Secret.

And what am I doing this evening? Going roller skating!

What an amazing day.

3 out of 5 committee members agree

that I can defend on May 30! Hurrah! I have a tentative defense date!

This means that I actually have to finish. Here are my next steps.

I was feeling crummy all last week and I missed my chapter deadline, but it was the combined chapters 1+5, so I feel okay about taking 3 weeks to finish instead of 2. Anyway:

3/23: Chapter 1 to advisor
4/2: Entire draft to advisor, including intro and conclusion and revised chapters
4/15: Drafts to readers
5/11: Drafts to entire committee, including reader comments, biblio, illustrations
5/30: Defense

This is all extremely scary, especially the next three weeks. I'm also supposed to be working two part-time jobs and applying for Real Jobs, and eating and sleeping and taking care of the cat. I'm feeling really anxious, not my usual productive nervous energy, but nail-biting worry that I won't be able to do it. Maybe I should lay off the coffee.

Update: Make that 4 out of 5!

"Is that your mom?"

Yesterday J. and I went sledding on a hill near the creek. It was us and a gaggle of small boys. When I sled I tend to hit every possible jump or bump and go flying. After a particularly spectacular fall, J. reports that one group of little boys said to the other, with amazement, "Is that your mom?" I've never been so happy to be mistaken for somebody's mom.

Unfortunately, the other effect of my particularly spectacular sled fall (someone built moguls on the hill. Who does that?) is that I've bruised my tailbone, that vestigial troublemaker.* It's not broken, which would be excruciating, but I don't think I can ride a bike for a while. And of course, what am I supposed to be doing right now? Finishing Chapter 1, which requires sitting on my ass for long periods of time.

Speaking of Chapter 1, I've decided to incorporate all of Chapter 5 into it and present it to my advisor as a fait accompli: "Here's my revised Chapter 1, and by the way, it includes most of the material on masculinity from Chapter 5. I've got a 4-chapter diss now, I guess I can defend 2 weeks earlier." 5 has never fit in with the rest of the diss, in terms of geography, chronology, or theme, and the ideas in it really need to be introduced earlier. I talked it through with my diss support group, and they think it's okay, if I present it to my advisor when it's already done. It helps that both were pretty weak and underdeveloped chapters: add together 4000-word chapters and you get one 8000 word chapter! So now I actually have to do it!


*And I thought tonsillitis would be the most vestigial-organ problem I would ever have to deal with. Now I'm just waiting for my appendix to burst.

Dissertation Update, 3/7

Today I got very little done on Chapter 1. I did read through it, but that's all.
Instead, I rode my bike around town, went to the library, worked on my museum's website, worked on the cover letter for the post-doc I'm applying to, read a book, and (gasp) wrote a poem.

You may know (well, I suppose you'd know if I told you, or you'd been monitoring my librarything) that I've been reading a lot of business books and lifehack blogs recently for both inspiration and vision, and general sanity and organization. A lot of them are full of pseudopsychology and are soothing but inane, but I found two books recently that I love and totally recommend. Creating a Life Worth Living is about life and career planning for creative type, and One Person/Multiple Careers is about arranging your life so you're able to make many of your passions into your work. Both have been making me think about my career, and (and this is a bit frightening) even rethink my museum career plans for something less structured. I'm even rethinking about the kind of place I want to live in. We'll see what happens. In any case, right now I have one priority, and I need to conceptualize everything else as happening after it gets done.

Brains

I finished* Chapter 4 and sent it to my advisor on Friday. We had a meeting last week and determined that I can defend the last week of May if I keep to my current schedule. I've also decided to walk in commencement this year! Exciting!

As a nice reward for my Ch 4 diligence, I went to two parties last weekend. The first was a big house party (a winter formal!) with a dancey band that sang about zombies and bicycles. I got to wear an amazing long black dress that was once my grandma's, with orange and purple flowers on it and a ruffley neckline, and danced up a storm.

The second party was my friend A's birthday. She had a cake-off! Everyone brought a cake (I made doughnuts, natch), and each cake had a sewn little pocket near it into which you could put a superlative (I got 'holiest' and 'best cake with a center grip'). There was so much cake I slipped into a sugar coma and had to drink lots of coffee to recover, but I had a lovely time and got to talk to my new friend C.

Also this weekend, the East Lake branch library had its grand opening, after being closed for two years! for renovations. The old library was cramped and ugly and had nowhere to sit and didn't even have windows on Lake Street. The new library is bright and modern and filled with light. The only downside of going to the opening celebration was that I got street harassed on my walk home. I thought winter was supposed to provide a respite from all that.

Back to the diss: Chapter 1 is due on the 14th of March. It's in crummy shape, so I really need to put my nose to the grindstone for it. I'm thinking of scrapping Chapter 5 and putting the relevant stuff into Chapter 1, but I haven't asked my advisor and am not quite sure if that would be okay. Would I seem like a slacker, turning in a 4-chapter thesis? It's just that 5 doesn't fit the new organization of the diss, and anyway the ideas in it should probably be introduced earlier. I'm still working through this.



*It doesn't have a conclusion, but is otherwise done.

Snowshoes

I love the snow! We got about a foot of snow this weekend, and I got a new pair of boots from the vegan store. My reward for my work this week will be to go snowshoeing, which I love dearly. Maybe I'll rent some shoes in the Cities and drive out to Wild River Falls.

Chapter 4 is still plugging along. I did a full read-through, and I just have a few things to research yet, the chapter conclusion to write, and still the notes to do. I have some sort of block on doing the notes, so I'm planning to do (or 'implement,' as the lifehack bloggers would say) the (10+2)*5 procrastination hack, aka force myself to work by building in little breaks.

The chapter is due on Wednesday, and I worked at the museum today, so tomorrow will be the big push day. Wish me luck!


Also, my reader four time zones away should start her own blog. Not this week, obviously, but do think about it.

Chapter 4 comes together

Hurrah! I'm making good progress on Ch 4 today. I finished the three sections I wanted to, and I added some more neat archival material. This may possibly be due to the fact that I couldn't sleep and got up ridiculously early; or more likely to the fact that I revised the intro first thing this morning, which helped me be more clear on what the chapter is about and is trying to argue. Note to self: for the next two chapters, revise the intro first!

I'm also excited about my word count. For my revised chapters, the tally is:
Ch 2: 10,600
Ch 3: 13,300
Ch 4: 10,100 (not done yet!)

total: 34,000 words=136 pages

I have two chapters, intro and conclusion, illustrations, and bibliography to go, so I think I'll hit 250. 200 is the unofficial minimum, so that's all I was going for.

And now, in honor of hitting 10,000 words on Chapter 4, I'm going to take a nap.

Ch 4 Update, 2/23

I'm still a bit downcast about my progress revising chapter 4, mostly due to my limited success in getting up early today since it was so grey and dreary. Tomorrow I'm going to go to the U and sequester myself and get a lot of writing done, since I'll have the library there. Also I have a built-in motivator since I'm going to go see the Apples in Stereo tomorrow night, and I'll feel crummy about going if I don't make some progress tomorrow (since I've only seen them three times, and Marbles twice).

What did I do today?
Worked on the intro a bit. Thought a lot about organization and where this chapter fits in the diss.

But also!--and let's not discount it--I did a lot of work on a job cover letter. And I fixed a weird problem with my computer. Also I bought a chair at Savers, drafted an entry for my professional blog (about timelines. Why am I always thinking about timelines?), and did a number of things on my actionable to-do list. So, not a totally wasted day.

Here's the skinny on Ch 4 in general:
I've finished four sections.
I need to revise five more, including the chapter intro and conclusion.
I need to polish the language and fix the notes.
It's due on Wednesday, and I want to go to a history of medicine talk at noon, so I'd like to have it done before then.

Tomorrow I will:

Revise:
chapter intro
Dr. Ehrlich
Salvarsan
Look at the stylesheet for my notes*
fix the Ch 2 and 3 notes, and 4 if I have time

*With archival materials, using Refworks and other citation managers is a huge pain.

Chapter 4

I've done a bit of organizing and work on Chapter 4 now, and it's actually really interesting. I'm starting to remember why I was so excited about this topic.

I've also learned that I need to write a section about blood--bad blood, blood poison, iv injection, serums. This had never occurred to me before--I really do learn by writing. I might just throw it into Chapter 5 and decide that it's about 'manly' blood.

Dissertation Update, 2/20

Lots of news about my recent progress:

I finished Chapter 2 and sent it to my advisor on the 14th, the day it was due. It was missing a few things--some data on the AMA's Ethics Code, a few things about Dr. Cramp, and fixing the notes--but generally reads well and is pretty coherent. The point was that I sent it in on time. Six months ago I would have looked at it and been frustrated and disappointed and decided that it wasn't worth sending to my advisor. Things have changed. Though I've said for a while that 'it doesn't have to be good, it just has to be done,' I never internalized it till now. It helps that I have this robust schedule with actual deadlines, and that (it was this simple!) I wrote the phrase on a postit and stuck it on my mirror.

As a reward for finishing chapter 2, I went to a v-day party and ate chocolate and wowed everyone with my knowledge of vintage port (which I never thought would have come in handy in a gathering of arty young queers).

The next diss goal is Chapter 4. I was looking forward to writing it, but now it feels a bit drab. I'm revising it in small sections but I'm still feeling overwhelmed. I'll have to drop my goals to paragraphs.

Chapter 4 is due on the 28th, and I feel like I've wasted lots of the time I had to write it. I think I sat on my laurels a bit too much over Chapter 2, and did social things I really should have declined, or spent less time at. The other problem is that my sleep schedule had been disrupted by the enormous amount of coffee I had been drinking, so I decided to detox a bit, and spent a whole day sleeping and feeling crummy and reading The Glass Books of the Dream Eaters, which gave me weird dreams.

So now it's the 20th, and I have a little more than a week to revise Chapter 4. I know that it's possible (I did most of the work on 3 in about 3 days) but my motivation is slipping. I'm going to read some motivation lifehacks and see if that helps.

Also, it's totally gorgeous outside. I'm glad I've had the chance to bike around, but good weather is no good for my motivation.

Chapter 2 Update

Well, my personal deadline of 2/10 turned out to be inaccurate, but I'm still on track to finish Chapter 2 by Wednesday.

Chapter 2 has just hit 10,000 words. Someone should buy me a drink and ask me about the Ohio Medical Advertisers Association.

Dissertation Update, 2/5

Last week, I finished my revisions on Chapter 3 and sent it to my advisor.

I started on my revisions of Chapter 2. It has some organizational problems, so I spent a few days reorganizing it, which went more slowly than I would have liked. Now I have ten coherent sections. Today I've already finished revising one of them, and my goal is to finish at least one other.

The chapter is officially due to my advisor on Valentine's Day. My personal deadline is the 10th, 4 days earlier. I believe I can make it.

I like this chapter less than the other one. It's the first chapter I ever wrote, two years ago, and I've revisited it too many times. Hopefully this will be the last time!

Dissertation Update 1/29

Over the last few days:

I revised all of the sections of Chapter 3 except for the conclusion, and researched all of the little picky research questions I had remaining. I even had time to work on the notes!

The last thing to do is to polish the writing and consider my transitions, and finish the conclusion (I have the problem that my chapters stop, rather than conclude) and then--cue spooky music--I'll send it on to my advisor, I'm thinking this evening. I'm really pleased with my progress on this chapter, but I'm afraid that when I give it to her, it will be not at all what she wants, not rigorous enough, poorly written, etc. The feedback I get on this chapter will guide the rest of my revisions as well. Hopefully, if it's good enough for me, it will be good enough for her.

Today, 1/29:

So my goals for today are to fix the writing and the conclusion, and send chapter 3 to my advisor.

Tomorrow, 1/30:

I'm working at the museum all day tomorrow, so I won't have time to do much writing, but I'll look over her comments on chapter 2, the next one to go, and list the sections, and mark all the 'need more here!' places in bold and list them as well.

Also:

Because two blogs aren't enough, I've joined the Dissertation Boot Camp. Check it out!

Dissertation Update, 1/27

Yesterday, Saturday, Jan 27:

I wrote for about 8 hours, and added about 1500 words to my chapter, bringing it to a very-respectable-and-maybe-even-too-long 12,000 words.

I revised the sections on Dr. Flint, Reinhardt employees, foreign language newspapers, the 'defining doctors' stuff (which appears in Chapter 2, and so needs to be discussed only glancingly), and the conclusion. I also got rid of as many 'need more here!' sections as I could.

Today, January 28:

Today I'm going to the library to get rid of the rest of the 'need more here!' sections, which all require a bit of research. Sunday is a bad day for library-going in Minneapolis: the MPL branches are all closed, some St Paul library branches are open, but not till 1, and even the U's humanities library doesn't open till noon.

I'm planning to do some polishing, transition-fixing, and notes-fixing this morning until the libraries open, at which point I'm planning to fill in all the 'need more here!' sections, all 6 of them. After that--well, I guess the chapter will be done, 4 days ahead of schedule. I'll try to send it to some friends and get their opinions before it goes to my advisor.

Dissertation Update, 1/26

Yesterday, Friday 1/26, I worked on Chapter 3.

On my new 10-week schedule, Chapter 3 is due to my advisor on Feb 1.

Yesterday I worked on it for about 12 hours.

I wrote about 2500 words, for a grand total of 10,100 (about 40 pp)--and this is just filling in the 'more here' notes I wrote on earlier drafts. I worked on the chapter intro and the sections on the Chicago Tribune, Dr. Evans, Dr. Cramp, the exposé, and Dr. Zins. Though none of those sections are totally done, they're in good shape.

Today I'm going to write more. I'm planning to revise the sections on Dr. Flint, Reinhardt floormen, and foreign language newspapers, and hopefully the conclusion as well.

If I finish those sections, the ones left are on Chicago, other exposés, and polishing everything and making sure the argument is coherent.

I'm feeling optimistic about this chapter, for the first time in months!

Things to get me as gifts after I finish my diss

The new Pynchon novel
A book on cheesemaking
heirloom vegetable seeds
kefir grains, koji, sourdough, natto, other cultures
a new bow for my saw (viola or cello please)
music lessons
a nice touring bike
three weeks of catsitting so I can bike around Lake Superior on above
a camp stove
that beautiful old movie theater on East Lake St. that I've always wanted to buy and turn into an art space

I say after the diss because all of these things involve time and energy that I need to put into writing. I think that's all for now. I'll link you back to this when I actually do finish (countdown: April!).

Another defense

In the last two years, my department has graduated six students, three of them folks who had come to the program in the mid-nineties and drifted around a bit, changing topics, working fulltime, having children, getting other degrees in the meantime (basically, having a life). I expect once the cohort of older students graduates, the five-years-and-out model will reign, and the new students will graduate quickly and on schedule. The rate at which we graduate students factors into the kinds of grants the department and its students get and the rankings of our program, so it's in the faculty's interest to keep us moving.

Today another student who had been on a longterm timetable defended her diss, I'm sure successfully. Her work is very interesting, about Czech engineers, scientific management and rationalization in a number of different political contexts. The defense itself took place in a room almost hidden among the engines on the top floor of the ME building, and there was no coffee or pastries, no powerpoint, just the student and some overheads. Her work is so strong no coffee was needed, I think. But I wonder what my defense will be like: I do worry about the appearances, the right room to hold it in, having coffee etc, a nice presentation on the computer (and I do need the internet to show my nice interactive maps). I'll probably be a total wreck from the organizing of food and having my dad around as much as from the presentation and examining itself.

If I had been on track to finish on my earlier timetable, I would have been the youngest person to graduate from our program, and, though not the quickest finisher, but up there. Now I'll tie for youngest with G. At this point I don't need any titles, just to be done.